


Pride, Prejudice and Dowryless Avengers

by KD writes (KDHeart), Sarshi



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen, The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011), X-Men: The Animated Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crack, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-22
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-08 07:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/440766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDHeart/pseuds/KD%20writes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarshi/pseuds/Sarshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jane Foster arrives in Malibu Park and brings Darcy with her, the Avengers know that they're about to get married. </p><p>"Pride and Prejudice", starring the Avengers as the Bennet sisters and Darcy Lewis as Mr. Darcy. Beware the crack and don't mind the X-Men, they don't do much. We just needed extra characters :P</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pride, Prejudice and Dowryless Avengers

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: See that long list of fandoms? We own none of the stuff in them. Except Austen. 'Cause she ran out of copyright and everybody owns her now. *refrains from making dirty comments*
> 
> Sarshi's Note: Because watching Barbara Cartland-based films wasn't enough, KDHeart and I decided it was a good idea to do this. *grumbles in pain*  
> KDHeart's Note: *mutters something about Lord Vulcan and leaves it at that*

## Chapter 1

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a hero to save her from her solitude.

However little known the feelings or views of such a woman may be on her first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that she is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their sons.

"My dear Mrs. Avenger," said Rhodey to her one day, "have you heard that Malibu Park is let at last?"

Pepper Avenger replied that she had not. She gave him a small, curious look.

"But it is," returned he; "for Mrs. Rogue has just been here, and she told me all about it."

"Why are you talking to Mrs. Rogue so much?" Pepper asked.

Rhodey Avenger ignored that, and chose to continue his track of thought. "Do you not want to know who has taken it?" he asked impatiently.

" _You_ want to tell me, and I have no choice but to hear it."

This was invitation enough.

"Why, my dear, Mrs. Rogue says that Malibu is taken by a young woman of large fortune from the north of England. She came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place and was so enchanted that she rented it immediately. She'll move in before St. Michael's Feast, and some of her servants will move in next week."

"What is her name?"

"Jane Foster."

"Is she married or single?"

"Single, my dear, to be sure. A single woman of large fortune: four or five thousand a year. Not bad for our boys."

"Oh? How can it affect them?"

"My dear Mrs. Avenger," replied Rhodey, "isn't it obvious? She should marry one of them."

"Is that her design in settling here?"

"Design? No. But she _may_ fall in love with one of them, and therefore you must visit her as soon as she comes."

"Don't you think the boys might want a say?"

"They can have a say later."

Pepper sighed. "You and the boys may go, or you may send them by themselves. That would be better. They look pretty on horseback. And besides, you're quite handsome and Jane Foster may like you the best of the party."

Rhodey wondered if she was being sarcastic. He decided she wasn't. "Well," he said dubiously, "I certainly _have_ my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary. When a man has five grown-up sons, looking in the mirror is depressing."

"Mmm," Pepper said noncommittally.

"But, you must go and see Jane Foster when she comes into the neighbourhood."

"It is more than I engage for, I assure you."

"But consider your sons and what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir William and Lady Coulson are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general, you know, they visit no newcomers. So you must go, because if you don't, we can't."

"You're over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say Jane Foster will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure her of my hearty consent to her marrying whichever she chooses of the boys; though I must throw in a good word for my handsome Loki."

"I desire you will do no such thing. Loki is not a bit better than the others." Rhodey didn't add that not only was not Loki not better than the others, he was considerably worse. Some even said that Loki was no better than he should be. But there was no arguing with Pepper, who only ever saw her precious Loki - and her dear Tony. "I am sure he is not half so handsome as Thor, nor half so good-humoured as Steve. But you are always giving _him_ the preference. Or Tony."

"The others don't have much to recommend them," replied she; "they are all silly and ignorant like other boys; but Loki has something more of quickness and cleverness than his brothers. And Tony is right there with him."

"Pepper, how _can_ you abuse your own children in such a way? And besides, Tony is a show-off. You take delight in annoying me. You have no compassion for my anger management issues."

"You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your anger management issues. They are my old friends. Bruce has inherited them and after fixing the roof last winter, I have all the respect for your anger management issues."

"Ah, you do not know what I suffer."

"But I hope you will understand what I do. And I hope you live to see many young women of four thousand a year come into the neighbourhood."

"It will be no use to us, if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them."

"Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty, I will visit them all."

And Rhodey knew she would. She had this knack of organizing things. The more she had to do, the better she arranged things. Pepper was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three-and-twenty years had been insufficient to make Rhodey understand her character. _His_ mind was less difficult to develop. He was a man of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper - sometimes it was calm, and then he was breaking trees with his bare hands, which was still nothing compared to Bruce. When he was discontented, he fancied himself angry. The business of his life was to get his sons married; its solace was visiting and anger management and a bit of stress relief from Mrs. Rogue, who could send a man into a coma with one kiss. And she could do a hell of a lot more given a bit of time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, this story isn't going anywhere. Too much stuff has happened since we started and we don't even know where we were going with it. [2016]


End file.
